Once Upon a Time in the Btchwstix Household...

there were no children. There was a husband and a wife. There were no children, no dog, just a cat. It was quiet there, almost...peaceful. This was a sweet time for Btchwstix. Why you ask? Well, I was just about to tell you.

Back when there were no children I could:

• go to the washroom without an audience (many people just do not understand the luxury of solitary elimination)
• eat chocolate for breakfast without the third degree
• buy clothing for myself without guilt (or wise cracking comments like "Did you buy that to wear?")
• wake up in the morning and find the kitchen in the exact same state I left it in the night before, that is to say clean, without peanut butter fingerprints and strange unrecognizable smells
• sleep til noon without emergency disturbances like "it's ten o'clock, can I eat a cookie now?"
• stay out til all hours, drink, carouse and be merry without worrying about who may be at home with daughters that want to stay til all hours, drinking, carousing and being merry
• eat a whole meal, without any interruptions, while it was still hot
• watch my bank account actually grow
• not worry about teenage sex, drugs, teen violence, house parties, grades, homework, hockey, exams, acne, meningitis, and a whole slew of other teen maladies

Sometimes, after a very long and tiring day I miss these times just a little, itty, bitty bit.

A Kiss Before Dying...

Yep, guess who is going to the frog pond. The pink Mission Falls sweater that took me eight months to do and course the inevitable happened right? I mean 6 year olds just do not stop growing til their needle challenged mothers can figure out "pick up stitches around collar and knit 3 rows. Sew pieces together and your done." Who writes this stuff? Or am I beyond blond? So, needless (always want to write needles when I type that word) to say I have to rip out this sweater and start something that will actually fit DN3. (Some of the yarn has to be trashed anyhow on account of me ripping out the collar so many times it kinda turned into pink dental floss in some spots but you really don't wanna hear me gripe about this again do ya?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, I need some ideas for the below yarn. The "Babi" is stunning but have already made two shawls out of it and I need and idea about what to do with the other 1.5 skeins. And the mauve yarn is 100% wool and a wee bit scratchy so not sure what to do with this either. I guess a felting project? I will leave this in your trusting hands, you people are so much more imaginative than I am, so go for it.

Grand River Yarns "BabI" in a beautiful Rose/Pink/Burgundy colourway. What would you do with stunning boucle? 

Philosopher's Wool Heathery Mauve Colour 

Today I Have Decided To Follow The Pack

Personal

Face Cleanser: Cetaphil
Body: Goat's Milk Soap
Shampoo: Head and Shoulders
Cream Rinse: L'oreal Deep Conditioner
Bath: Crabtree and Evelyn Rose
Shaver: Gillette
Hair Brush: Hedgehog from Crabtree and Evelyn
Moisturizer: Nutraderm
Jeans: Old Navy
T-Shirt: Old Navy or Talbots
Running Shoes: Fila
Socks: Ralph Lauren Cashmere
Purse/Bag: Three year old Burberry or twenty year old Louis Vuitton
Wellies: Gardener II's from Scotland

Home

Televisions: JVC widescreen, Sony, too many to count
Stereo: Sony
Vehicle: Suburban
Coffee Maker: Glass percolator or Espresso machine
Take Out Coffee: Tim Horton's
Tea: Red Rose
Favourite Tea Cup: Spode Blue Room Collection
Bedding: Ralph Lauren "Charlotte" or paisley flannels I just got for Christmas

Favourite Places

Bristol, Rhode Island, on a fall evening, looking out the French doors at the boats on the water
The beach on Kahshe Lake, Muskoka, Ontario any summer between 1970 and 1980
My kingsize bed, Sunday mornings, middle of winter, snowing outside, cup of tea on nightstand

Necessary Extravagance

Yarn, books, purses, cashmere socks, Clinique liners and Estee Lauder Mascara

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am I the only one that hates that Crazy Christco Lady in the Mrs. Claus outfit? This woman scares me.

Yep, this is all I've done for the last two days...
Read, knit and drink tea. My upper back is out of whack and am having a wee bit of trouble trying to do anything else so that's been about it. Can't do anymore of the mittens as mother is using the "Weekend Knitting" book for their sock pattern and that's what I am using for the mitten pattern. The mystery is pretty good, done in typical Rendell style so at least I have something interesting to read while I'm trying to get comfortable. Also feel like I am getting a cold/sinus thing so like I said, taking it pretty easy. House appears to be falling apart around me but not much I can do (nor anyone else apparently). You know how it is, mum is ill so basically nothing gets done. Did not even attend my weekly knitting circle last night so you know I must really be in pain to miss that! I've been resting, taking Advil and putting a cold compress every six hours so it seems to be a bit better. I went to the doctor this morning (after pressure from my MIL who thinks you should go to the doctor if you stub your toe) and he said, "Take advil for the pain, cold compresses for 20 to 30 minutes and call next week if it doesn't feel better." Told him I could have bloody well stayed home and knit 30 rows than hear that. He laughed. Glad someone thinks I'm funny cause I don't. Hope your days have been better than mine.

Shit, have I brought you people down? I didn't mean to. Promise next post will be more upbeat.

Knit On

Since I have no other pictures to show you, I thought you might be vaguely interested in what my little knitting corner of the world looks like 

Wanna Show You The Helmet I Knit For DN1

But she won't let me take a picture of her in the hat. I don't want to show you just the hat cause it looks so blah just lying on a table. I want my daughter to model it for you guys and she was actually trying to bargain, "If I let you take a picture of me then I can go on MSN for half an hour right?" ah, NO you have homework so no picture (I may slip it on to her head while she is sleeping but maybe not enough light for my camera, damn) Gotta think of another plan...Stay tuned. I may win this one.

Hah, have you read my bathroom story?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Quick story, CSI: New York is on so I'll be quick. I hosted my neighbourhood knitting group last night and one of my regulars, the 87 year old, told another slightly hilarious story (remember her? she's the one that wanted to flip the guy the bird on the way to the Paton's sale last February, see May posting) Annnyways, she tells the group that during the holidays, she looks out her back window and thinks that one of her pine trees looks kinda odd (she has bad cataracts and is waiting for surgery) so the next day she looks out again and is pretty sure something is amiss but can't focus so she grabs her binoculars and realizes someone has chopped down her pine tree! Not only that, they left the saw!!! Now, in her backyard she has half a pine tree. Can you imagine? How does someone live with themselves knowing their Christmas tree was stolen from someone's backyard? The human race never ceases to amaze me.

Harry Potter Scarf... Finally Finished (Can I Tell You How Happy I am?) 

"Last Minute Knitted Gifts" almost bought myself but DH finally understands my addiction 

Deck Of Knitting Cards (So Cute!) 

Girl Knitting Christmas ornament given to me by Barb from my knitting circle while she was vacationing in Bar Harbor, Maine, she was thinking of me!

I am a lucky girl. And a good girl too, apparently. I received some lovely gifts from friends and family. My assorted loot includes sweaters and books from DH, a whole array of items from Crabtree and Evelyn, kid leather gloves for my new coat, Laura Secord Chocolates, paisley flannel sheets (all from Mom and Dad), DVDs, and a stocking full of cashmere socks and gum (Santa must have a fetish about warm feet and fresh breath, but I digress). Again, I am truly thankful for a wonderful Christmas spent with family and friends. I have basically been in my pajamas for the last 3 days, watching movies and every CSI ever recorded *note to self: never, ever touch bedspread in hotel room again*

Suffering from slight chocolate overdose and have visions of giving blood and seeing milk chocolate flowing through tube. I have been eating it before breakfast, as breakfast, at lunch, while cleaning, in bed, before sex, after sex (thought about it during sex) and am starting to think I have had a leeeetle bit too much. Found 22 empty wrappers in my night stand and I think it was me that put them there in some kind of chocolate induced trance. My six year old wants to know why I get to eat it at 8:00 in the morning and she can't. She now knows mummy needs it to keep her sugar count up, God forbid if she repeats this to my diabetic father.

Trying to finish Harry Potter scarf and have two more stripes to do then I am done. Looking to maybe do a doggie sweater for our dog and some mittens, but that's about it in the knitting department. Should go now, DN2 has a hockey tournament game in the morning so I have to find some real clothes to wear for tomorrow.

Knit On

As The Year 2004 Comes To A Close I Wish To Thank...

• my husband for letting me knit everywhere and anywhere without rolling eyes and the earlier sighs
• my mother (the "Stitch Doctor") for teaching me to knit and being so patient with my "emergency" calls to help repair/decipher/frog my first pathetic attempts
• my father for accepting the above phone calls without bitching while I was clearly disrupting "your mother's CSI"
• my children for not freaking everytime they say "Mum?" and I say "I'm counting, hold on"
• my various friends, neighbours, relatives and other assorted victims that have simply gushed when I have given them my pathetic attempts
• the earlier yarn store employees that answered my stupid questions without totally cracking up and losing control of bodily functions
• again, my husband, for not really looking too hard at the credit card receipts and wondering how you spend $202.02 at a place called "The Yarn Tree"
• and finally all the bloggers that take the time out of their busy days to read the mindless rubbish that I post once or twice a week

Merry Christmas, everyone and may 2005 be healthy, happy and fulfilling to all of you.

Are 14 Pairs of Boots Too Many?
I know you can only see 13 pairs but I couldn't find the black suede ankle boots. So the question is "how many pairs of boots/shoes is too many?" I am a shoe/boot-aholic, or am I? Most women I know seem to have a lot of footwear. They almost all serve a purpose (I admit there are two or three pairs I haven't worn in a couple of years but I just can't seem to justify getting rid of them). Why are women like this? My husband seems to get by just fine with two pairs of boots so why do I need 14?

Knitting? oh right, this is a knitting blog isn't it? Fantastic, most of my Christmas knitting is done and just have to fringe the shawl and finito. I caved on Saturday at Village Yarns and bought my Silk Garden #34 that I have been panting after for months. Decided to make a scarf for myself with it. I am doing the Farrow Rib again from The Little Box of Scarves and it is looking beautiful. Anxious to see how my knitted items go over with the recipients. I think I knit six items this year for gifts. Not bad for an amateur I guess. May post some pics later if anyone is interested.

Added Later:

Shit, this could be a problem


Take the quiz, which Desperate Housewife are you?
http://quizilla.com/users/gerigrrl/quizzes/Which%20Desperate%20Housewife%20are%20you%3F

"You Want Me To Put My Hands Where?!"

Yep, those were the words spoken to me by my eldest daughter. What would cause my daughter to rail at me with such venom? Apparently I asked her to do something that nobody, especially 15 year old girls do. It's disgusting. It's despicable. Indeed, I told her to clean the downstairs bathroom. Here is the conversation:

"DN1, can you please clean the bathroom downstairs?" (Have asked this of her before but for some reason, the toilet and floor were not washed, so I was way ahead of her this time)

"And make sure you clean the toilet AND floor this time" (heh, heh almost there, so close)

"Sure mom" she replies, bouncing down the stairs.

(Feeling real good but can you feel something coming?)

"Where do you keep the toilet brush?" (have never, ever owned a "toilet brush" and you would think that teenage daughter would probably, at some point have seen said brush after cruising around this house for say 15 YEARS)

"We don't have a toilet brush, honey you have to wash with your hands".

(Ya think it's now don't you? WRONG)

"Oh, well where's the rubber gloves, under the sink?" (now maybe it's just me but I never feel like I can clean properly with a layer of latex between me and the E. coli so armed with a jug of javex, I go commando)

"No babe, I don't use rubber gloves..."

(Wait for it...)

"Well, what do you use?" (said with total innocence, honest to God)

"Just my bare hands, babe just my bare hands."

(NOW)

"YOU WANT ME TO PUT MY HANDS WHERE?!"

Sink was semi cleaned. Toilet still had ring. Floor has more hair than Don King. I am refusing to clean said bathroom. The stand off continues...

An Excerpt...

"I have seen some changes. Knitters increasingly combine contrasting fibers for distinctive textures, work with several colors, adapt patterns by varying sleeves, neckline, length etc., experiment with higher style, knit more for themselves than others, knit less when the economy is good because they stay home less, knit less for men who are pickier and won't tolerate that "loving hands at home look," knit less for children since most modern mothers want to throw everything into the washing machine and dryer, count on knitting to keep their hands busy and out of food or off cigarettes, enjoy knitting's "social image" that attracts conversation, knit to reduce travel tensions over late departures, late arrivals, late room check-ins, late meals and gridlocked traffic and still perceive European designs more stylish than American ones."

Page 360

No Idle Hands

by Anne L. Macdonald

1988

After cleaning up outside a bit last week, I decide to sprinkle some grass seed from last spring down on the lawn... 

And lo' and behold... I find I can't sprinkle grass seed because it's ALREADY GRASS!!! Is this a testament to great grass seed or what?

Just one of those tiny things that somehow seem to amuse me to no end.

Busy, busy weekend. Too much hockey and bustle and not enough knitting time. Almost finished the Grand River Yarn shawl, I just have to finish fringing (is that a word?) the other half. Also finished the Feather and Fan scarf and that turned out beauteeeful. These are both Christmas gifts so this pleases me to no end. Also, started and completed a scarf for my new coat using that loop method to produce an all loop kind of boa. The pattern seems a little odd at first, but once you get the hang of it, the item knits up very quickly. Still need to figure out what to knit for the kids' teachers. One is a young female so that really poses no problem but the other is an aging Scotsman and I have no clue what to knit for him. A pair of knickers for under his kilt perhaps? Any suggestions in this department would be seriously considered. I really want to knit more items for the baby charity as well so I better start looking at some easy and quick infant patterns.

Picked my mum and dad up from the airport on Saturday and my uncle loved his slippers. So glad he was pleased. I guess this knitting thing does benefit more than the yarn shop owners...

Thinking of Babies

I have added a link to my sidebar for those that may wish to donate knitted or crocheted baby items. My neighbour, Rose, works at this organization and has recently told me they lack knitted/crocheted baby items. If you wish to donate, please mail items directly to them (Attention: Rose Lintner) or drop off at the address on their site.

I'm sure the young mums would appreciate anything you have to offer.

Knit On

Added Later

Just checking the weather on my site and Holy Crap! Weather Pixie is such a ho! Check her out today

• belly top
• mini skirt
• thigh boots

That's all folks!

What you thought you were getting a 2fer? Fat chance, one posting a day is all you can handle.