Thursday, December 01, 2005

Question of the Day

I have a dilemma. Not a huge one but a dilemma none the less. DN1, as you all may well know, goes to an art school. As a result, many of her friends are somewhat bohemian. They come from all walks of life, cultural backgrounds etc. Her close friends come from all of these varied groups and on the whole they are great group. Some of them have been her friends since she started there back in grade 7. One of these compadres has been with her through thick and thin. They are almost inseparable. Now here is the predicament. They are going out as a group on Friday night and she wants to know if she can sleep at his place afterwards. Now being the mom that I am, normally I would say, and she knows this already, I would give a very emphatic "no". But this situation is different. Why? Well let's put it this way, if they were television characters, she would be Grace and he would be Jack. Yes, he is gay. Not flaming (like her other close friend) but still gay. He hopped out of the cupboard in the summertime and his parents are well aware of his preferences.

So, as you can see it is a bit of a quandry. Basically, I don't see a problem. Their relationship is more of a girlfriend/girlfriend thing so I don't really see any difficulties. My husband on the other hand is a different story. He comes from an old fashioned Italian background that does not really understand these modern relationships. I don't consider myself a prude, but I can see where he is coming from. What would you do?


Lisa said...

How old is she? And is she mature of her age? Also, do you know his parents? And where will she be sleeping. depending on your anwsers, especially the where she will sleep, I would say yes. but only because he is gay.

My husband would have a hard time with this too, but considering you know nothing will happen, it is safe to assume it will be fine.

It sounds like you trust your daughter or you wouldn't be having such a difficult time deciding what to do.

Elizabeth said...

Go with your very first gut instinct.

stephanie said...

I agree with Elizabeth, your very first instinct is probably right. That said, my eldest asked me for a similar priviledge and I said no, a boy is a boy...and, to be blunt, sexuality is very fluid (no pun intended) at this age. Seemed easier to make a "no boy" rule. I suppose that all of this is mute since she could concievably be a lesbian (in which case I've been doing completely the wrong thing with sleepovers for a while.) It's complicated. Go with your gut.

Maggie said...

My instinct would be to say okay, as long as his parents will be home. But this is also an issue between you and your husband. I can't begin to suggest anything there.

Perhaps you'd be more comfortable with the two of them sleeping over at your place?

I also like what Stephanie said about sexuality being fluid.

I am absolutely no help.