Am I The Only One That Thinks This Stuff Is Funny?

The 13 Things PMS stands for:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

THE HORMONE WARNING: The Hormone Hostage knows that there
are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he
takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as
common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or
significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and
remember:
Money talks.... But Chocolate sings

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

I am in love with this time of year. Canadians tend not to decorate as much as Americans for Hallowe'en but lately I've been noticing more. I've been decorating for this hallowed day since we've been married and dressing up for many, many years. One of my best was Mimi from Drew Carey and last year I was a fortune teller with a table and crystal ball set up right on the porch. Creepy music, lights off, just candlelabrums strewn around the porch, love it. The best compliment is hearing the kids say "I dunno, it's kinda scary, are you sure you want to go to this one?" Another year, I had all these rotten vegetables in glass jars lined up on the porch railing, God it was great. My children think I'm a little whacked, that maybe I enjoy scaring kids a bit too much, but they seem to really love it. And I know when I was a kid I would have really liked it if a neighbour cared this much to really go all out for basically a children's holiday.

Knitting Update:

Finished all the pumpkinny sort of stuff (everything turned out great, and DN3 loves the pencil topper/finger puppet) and am frantically trying to finish Christmassy sort of stuff (scarves etc) but my SIL wants to go yarn shopping tomorrow and I just hate to say no to her, lmao. Besides, does everyone know what day it is on Monday? Yes, the Lisa season has begun, it is my birthday so I'll probably go on a serious SEX (stash enhancement expedition) and use my birthday as a very lame excuse to buy more yarn I probably don't need but love to feel.

Now If I Could Just Figure Out...

Story of my life. Constantly trying to figure out how to do stuff. I am the "tekkie" of the family. You don't know how funny that statement is considering I am useless when it comes to this computer crap. My husband is even worse (kid's grew up thinking it was always 12:00). I am the one that has to decipher all the manuals, toy assembling, etc. Life is a learning process, which brings me to my pictures. Gotta find out how to post them ALL together. Hope you like them. Have other FOs but wasn't sure if anyone wanted to see them. The FOs on the other blogs just seem so much more professional than mine.
~
On another note, am kinda depressed today. My mother called yesterday to tell me my uncle out west is really ill and my mom wants to go see him, but my father can't go as he has shows and an open house coming up (he owns a toy store), so I said I would go with her. I really don't want her to go alone, especially if my uncle is as bad as she thinks he is (my uncle's wife is kinda in denial as to his condition). I don't want my mother facing this alone.

That's about it for today, I have to go decorate outside, but have been waiting for the sun to come out but I don't see it happening.

PS Haven't forgotten you, Jane!

Umbilical Cord hats from "Stitch n' Bitch" in Mission Falls cotton, "Babi" from Grand River Yarns, Pumpkin Loot Bag (no face yet) and the Pumpkin Pencil Topper 

Farrow Rib Scarf from "Little Box of Scarves" 

A Very Harlot Ponch

In The Spirit of the Coming Holiday...Yes My Birthday is Approaching

I am going to gift you with some of the best websites I have found while mindlessly coasting through the internet. Warning to non knitters, some sites may bore the crap right outta ya.

Angel Hair Yarn, a listing of movies and television shows that have knitting references or actual actors/actresses doing the knitty.
http://www.angelhairyarn.com/movies.html

Tons of free patterns, be sure to check out the Hallowe'en patterns (am knitting the pumpkin loot bag for DN3 as we speak, well not really AS we speak but you know what I mean)
http://frugalknit12330.goeserv.com/

The Poncho Queen (need I say more, well over 100 poncho patterns and still growing)
http://faerycrafty.blogdrive.com/archive/140.html

I will not go to the library without this list
http://www.woolworks.org/bookref.html
Listing of books with knitting related stories etc.
(I am such a loser, I think I need some kind of anti-fibre medication)

Just because knit baby stuff makes me feel warm inside
http://littleturtleknits.com/

Am not a sock knitter but I love to share
http://www.socknitters.com/

Best Price I have ever seen for my dream yarn, Silk Garden
http://www.woolneedlework.com/

Did it and enjoyed it
http://www.marthastewart.com/page.jhtml?type=content&id=channel172345

Great scarf pattern, especially for a man in a tweed wool
http://www.marthastewart.com/page.jhtml?type=content&id=channel172064&rsc=tc16&page=1&site=

Most beautiful wooden needles I have ever owned (I like them better than Brittany AND Lantern Moon)
http://www.turn-of-the-century.com/knit.htm

Hope you enjoyed your little gift, and Jane, if your reading, be prepared for a picture of my knitting feet. I accept the challenge girl!

50 Ever So Interesting Things About Me

1. I love irish wolfhounds and newfoundlanders and plan to have one or the other one day.
2. I hate pattern graphs.
3. Some food labels make me physically ill.
4. Have googled "sex" and "hockey" many times together and am always amazed at the results.
5. I love my husband more now than I did when I married him and I so did not see that coming.
6. I still have nightmares that I am either late for school or can't find my homeroom.
7. My toenails on my third toe in on both feet fell off 5 years ago this October and I could never figure out why.
8. I was never allowed sugar cereal as a child and when I got married I went out and bought boxes of Count Chocula, Fruit Loops and Trix and hated them all.
9. My children have never had Count Chocula, Fruit Loops or Trix.
10. My kettle on my stove always has to be on the right back burner when not in use.
11. I have never seen The Exorcist or Titanic.
12. We had a cat growing up that lived to be 24 years old.
13. My mother is half chinese.
14. I am proud of the fact my mother is half chinese.
15. I have only been in a beer store once in my whole life.
16. I miss my cottage terribly.
17. I think everyone should watch "Fahrenheit 9/11".
18. I pray every night.
19. Astronomy never ceases to astound me.
20. I deeply regret never having gone to university.
21. I constantly compensate by reading up to 4 books per week.
22. I just started knitting one year ago.
23. Fall is my favourite time of year.
24. My birthday is not a day but a season.
25. Hallowe'en is my favourite holiday.
26. I want to learn to play chess.
27. I almost drowned when I was four years old in a pool in Lauderdale-By-The-Sea.
28. I am an Anglophile.
29. I love to bake.
30. Cleaning poultry totally grosses me out.
31. I miss the Two Fat Ladies.
32. I only read British Mysteries.
33. I often wonder how John Bobbitt is doing and if the parts are still in working order.
34. I will miss Christopher Reeve.
35. I can knit with my toes.
36. I hate polyester.
37. I get constant sinus infections.
38. When I start laundry I always have to start with the white javex load.
39. I hate red cars.
40. I hate long, fake nails.
41. My daughter has her belly button pierced.
42. I have another daughter that plays boys hockey.
43. My shoe size has increased by 1 1/2 sizes since giving birth.
44. I hate the sun.
45. I love rain.
46. My towels have to be stacked with the fold on the outside.
47. I collect blue and white transferware.
48. All my children are named after family.
49. I miss Don Cherry.
50. I think I may be slightly OCD.

OMG I Posted A Picture!!!

Holy Crap, I finally did it. After many months of fiddling with our digital camera, having it break, returning it to Future Shop, learning how to work the new one, I have finally posted a picture. That is the youngest (DN3) for those of you that keep track. She is also the same daughter that cut her own hair so outrageously a few years ago (See http://woolflowers.net/) Do you feel that mother's pain? What's new you ask? What have I been up to you ask? Well, there has been so much going on. Hubby's birthday party was a huge surprise and he loved it. He had a hockey game with his friends, then drinks and dinner upstairs at the restaurant. It was wonderful. DN2 is in semi-final action tomorrow for her school soccer team so I hope I am feeling better than I am right now (sore throat, hot air in the nose thing) you get the picture.

Pardon? Oh yes, thank you for asking, I am sleeping much better. I am in love with my king size bed. I thought I found true love when I got my Suburban (holds hockey bags, three kids, friends of kids, husband, dog and bulk knitting purchases, please don't preach) but that was just lust. True love is sleeping on the other side of the room from your "snoring so loud guests sleeping in the basement can hear you" husband. I also do not feel him get up in the middle of the night for a trip to the loo. So, with a few other adjustments, yes I am doing quite well, thank you.

Knitting is progressing, although not in a "have everything finished" way but in a "slowly but surely and hope the damn things are finished by Christmas" way. Harlot's poncho (in blue and white cotton) is 3/4 done but find I am not rushing so much now that the cooler weather is finally, God love it, here. Started, and completed another umbilical cord hat from the SNB book. I did it in my favourite green from the Mission Falls cotton colourway. I had to do a SECOND one, do you know why? Hah! Cuz I SOLD the other one. What ya think of that? I am so impressed with myself. Still working on Fleece Artist shawl and Little Box of Scarves scarf and much, much more. I will leave you in a bit of suspense since I plan on posting some knitting pics very soon.

I think that is it, but I always think of more after I publish my post. Have a great week and please continue to...

Knit On

Summer's Gone, Knitters Rejoice