Amazing, What A Little Hair and Make- Up Can Do?

Well, how was your Hallowe’en? Mine was a little shaky. Have had a bladder infection and just got a cold. It rained here almost a full two weeks before Hallowe’en so decorating was not really priority around here which is totally out of character for me but when you are not in top form, these things tend to suffer.

I have been trying to duplicate (duplicate being the operative word here) a lovely scarf my mother gave me a little while back. It is this jewel toned wine coloured lacy bit and I simply adore it. However, it is on its last legs and I am trying to make a suitable replacement for it. That’s how I fell in love with this. I mean I love Fleece Artist but this is like having an orgasm while eating chocolate. Possible, but never felt before. Who can say no to 100% Silky goodness? Then, of course, the big decision was what pattern to use? The original is crochet. Well, I can do a mean chain stitch but that is the end of my crochet repertoire. So, after many, many false starts I ended up with a Feather and Fan type of pattern that is sooo working with the yarn. Now normally I am not a FF type of gal (too reminiscent of the Granny Afghans I was exposed to as a child, I am still blocking those memories for the sake of my craft and sanity) but this looks simply divine with the Handmaiden.

I am also close to finishing (who is kidding who here, I have barely started the second one) the Fiber Trends slippers/clogs for DN2 and plan on posting some really handy dandy tips for these cozy little marvels after completion. There seems to be quite a bit of speculation on sizing, the best wool etc. and damn it, I’m here to set the record straight!

I also wish to thank Michele for the help with the security for spamming thingy. Everyone knows my tekky skills are almost nil (read: nonexistent) so I can comfortably go back to posting my rubbish without further ado.

And in the totally insignificant section of my post (betcha can’t wait for this one), has anyone seen the Disney Hallowe’en special, “Twitches”? I am totally mesmerized by the woman that plays their Queen mother. The woman is breathtakingly gorgeous and I never caught her name. Stunning beyond belief. Now before my regulars start to think I am tipping the velvet, the observation was made because she reminds me of this KnitBlogger. Just sayin’. See what happens when I don’t post for a while?

What time is it Mr. Wolf?

I am beginning to fear time, just like in the game we played as kids. I don't have enough of it and it seems to be getting away from me somehow. Anyone else feel this way? I just am NOT getting everything done I need to get done. Simple as that. However, I have been busy knitting. And reading. Could this be why I have no time?


Can you read this? The instructions for the felted slippers are amazing and concise but bloody hell, I cannot do this pattern and watch tv at the same time!
And looky what came in the mail yesterday. Not particulary impressed with the Vogue issue. Nothing practical and usually I love the Vogues. Easy Knitting isn't too bad and the bag on the cover is cute but really, I find quite a bit of info in the mags I already know so they just don't have the power to excite me like they used to.

Fantastic book. If you have not read this yet, get it. Very informative and she is not as dumb as some people think she is. She has it together and is a very brave and innovative person. It's all good. The other books are A Cold Treachery and the knitting bible Knitting in Plain English. Oh, and for other Anglophiles (like you Elizabeth), I have been reading this book I found in my bookcase:
It is The Royal Book of Lists and the author, Matt Richardson, is actually from Richmond Hill, Ontario. We royalists are everywhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just to get off of the reading/knitting subject for a moment, I have a shower to go to on Sunday. Your typical italian shower, at a hall, with probably 100 or so women. My problem is, it is a monetary shower. Which means, of course, I am not to bring a gift but give money. Personally, I think these are tasteless. I do not think you should ask for money at a shower, but regardless I must attend but I have no idea what amount to give. Should I give what I would have spent for a shower gift? I guess so but it still rubs me the wrong way. We will be attending this wedding in January and that in itself will be well over $1000.00 when you take into account the money gift ($500.00 to 600.00) plus outfits for three girls and myself well we're actually looking at well over a grand. Okay, I vented. I feel much better now.

Thanks. And have a great weekend. We are going here Saturday night, should I be afraid?

Would these be size 500 mm Needles?

Thanks to the Champagne Bohemian for a great picture. Busy, Busy weekend. Hockey tournament for DN2. The first rink she played at was here. Yes, that is a Chinese Food Court/Plaza. The rink is in the lower level/basement of this plaza. It is one of the most disgusting rinks in the GTA. The bathrooms were so bad, one of the mother's came out and almost tossed her Timmy's, it was so disgusting. She was positively ashen when she came out. How sickening is that. Don't get me wrong here, I know some really horrific rinks. Double Rinks/Vaughan Iceplex is right up there as well. But loos that make you want to vomit? The things we do for our children. Gotta go make breakfast will try and update more soon.

Yesterday was for blogging

You must check out Norma's post on all natural healing. Totally stimulating and mind provoking. She has even recommended a book for me that I have already ordered online. It amazes me how many bloggers take the time out of their busy day to help others. Selfless. It's also nice to know that you are not suffering alone and that you are not crazy and the pain/discomfort is not in your head. So go read. You'll thank me.

Things that confused me as a kid...

I know I saw this on a blog somewheres but I cannot for the life of me remember where. I have been blogging for a good hour now, trying to catch up on all my favs and have read about 20 or so. Seemed like a good subject so off we pop.

Things that confused me as a kid:

1. My girlfriend's aunt. She lived four houses away from me when I was little. She drove a souped up green Dodge Dart with mag wheels. Her hair was cut super short. She wore plain white tee shirts with her cigarette package shoved up the sleeve and always had a cute lady/female with her. Damn, wasn't I like in my twenties before it hit me.

2. All the dogs I knew as a kid would end up running away from home. Mr. Moore's dog Puddles, Poncho, Bebe. It wasn't until I was talking to some neighbours a year or so ago that I found out they all died. Some got hit by cars, others just conked out. How naive is that?

3. Quebec Separation. Not that that subject isn't confusing enough but let me tell ya when you are in grade four and need a current event story this is NOT the way to go. It is my turn and of course I got nothing. Zero. Nadda. I am listening to the radio over breakfast and hear about the "separation" thing. But get this. I don't listen to the whole thing. Get up in front of the class and tell them Quebec is going to separate from Canada. They don't like it here anymore. So they are going to all get a shovel and dig around the border and SEPARATE. And they are going to move out into the Atlantic Ocean. You should have seen the teacher trying to stop me. Talk about a train wreck...

Believe me, there is a tonne more but I cannot completely divulge how utterly stupid and naive I was as a child, lest you think it may have carried over to adulthood (yes Clara, I hear you laughing, shut up). I will update all of you as soon as I can. Much to tell, little time for writing. And no, I have not forgotten Tuesdays are for Blogging, I just had my knickers in a twist this week and should be back to normal soon.

Busy here people

After freezing for six hours in the middle of a soccer field yesterday, I can't tell you how truly wonderful it is to get back to where I belong. Yes, washing floors, clothing and dishes is so much more rewarding than watching your daughter play soccer in 11 degree temperatures with 50 km wind gusts. The life of a princess, I'll tell ya. And tomorrow? I may clean the fridge. Thank God for knitting.

Tuesdays (already?) are for blogging

Knitche

Let's start with this one. She likes buttonhole bags, felted flowers and has a picture of Amy Singer on her site. What's not to like? AND she seems like a Foodie, too! Now if she would only mail me up one of those Target knitting bags...


Nikkishell

Why? Because I love every piece of fabric on her site. Jealous of her talent? Me, no, never.


Yarn

Just in case ya didn't know this was around. You can never know about too many knitting resources can you?


Well, there you have it. I'm starting to think Australia might be an okay place for a knitter. I mean I would if it wasn't for this. Bugs pretty enough to be accessories kinda creep me out. How do you do it Jussi?

I never thought I would say this but...

I think I may be a feminist. Perhaps a quiet feminist but a feminist none the less. Now I don't think I am second wave (that seems to be a 60's and 70's revolution thing) and the third wave seems to consist of those in their 20's and early 30's (and we all know I am on the sunny side of 40, yes?). So I am not sure exactly what I am and that's okay. I am not one to be pigeon holed. The point is I am finding it more and more difficult to teach my girls the importance of self. Self worth. Self love. Self assurance. Now without sounding too cliche, I am experiencing some difficulty finding good (great?) role models for my daughters. For those keeping track, I have three. Two of which are 13 and 16. Highly impressionable and easily influenced at this age. It's the total crap that they are watching, listening to and reading about. Reading about the drunken frivolity of this one, the "should never had been released" sex tape of this one (yes, that's her smoking a joint) and of course the list just goes on and on. I have never wanted to place my kids in a bubble but boy that big plastic dome is looking kinda good about now.

That's why I have this book on order. Of course I am going to read it. And maybe, if it helps get some of my points across, I'll be leaving it in places where they might pick it up. Maybe read it. And maybe understand. Maybe?

Tuesdays are for Blogging

Because I have wayyyy too much time on my hands and I will do almost anything to avoid the pile of laundry, the seaming of sweaters too small for the recipients and the endless dust on the dining room table I am giving you "Tuesdays are for Blogging". Let me take you on a Magical Mystery Tour of some blogs I have discovered and you can let me know what you think if you are so inclined. Ready? (I have translated the pages for you already, but it is still kinda funny reading)

Stricksucht

The fish thing has me mesmerized. Anyone else seen this before?


Mon Tricot

Great purses with excellent colour choices. My type of gal.


Tricotando with Anatricot

I'm not even sure if this is a blog or what. But I love everything on it. The scarf is gorgeous, those hair wrap things are adorable and the shawl is stunning. And yes, I know it is crochet. Definite motivation for me to get my ass in gear and learn how to crochet. The only thing is it took me twenty-five years to learn to knit, I don't know if I'll be around for the Senior year of Crochet 101.


Yarnstorm

Foodie, knitter, great photography. Need I say more?


Juju Loves Polka Dots

A creative canuck living in London. And the bead necklaces are to die for.


Well, that completes the tour for today. Are you inspired yet?

***Added Later:

I have changed the sites to their original link as the translation thing was not working for some people. Feel free to go to a translation page to get any patterns that interest you.

Crafts, Cooking and Canning

Buttonhole Bagging, Pizza Making and Slippery Jacking

Just Need Half Moon Spectacles and a Cape

I saw this at the KW Knitter's Fair and it was stunning. It was at the Village Yarns booth and apparently it took the knitter about 3 weeks to complete. She had done it all in Lamb's Pride. I believe they are offering a class for it as well. The kit for it was $199.00, if my memory serves me correctly. Something to think about I guess. But boy, did it take my breath away. I don't know what the kid's would say if I carried it though. They would probably start calling me "Supernanny" or something to that effect.

Oh, and the beautiful variegated yarn I showed you the other day is called "Guys" by Adriafil. Just in case you were wondering.

The Bus is now departing - Next stop - Kitchener Waterloo

Well, I'm back. Safe and sound and lighter in the pocket. What a beautiful day. We arrived at the Knitter's Fair at about 10:00 and got in before the crush. As you can see I purchased more Briggs and Little. Who can resist $2.99 a skein? I ask you, who? Sorry Elizabeth, damn wish you came. Oh, by the way, I finally purchased a Chibi. And that multi coloured stuff? I don't even know what I'll do with it, just loved the colours.

And the funniest? My SIL came today. She is the least knittiest of us all, just kinda picks up the needles at our SNB and doesn't really knit much in her spare time. Guess who wins the door prize at the fair? You guessed it. A kit for a fair isle hat. I had to explain to her what fair isle was. She's going to attempt a hat with it though, maybe a simple stripe to start her off. And I got her hooked on making a buttonhole bag.

After the yarn orgy we headed to Guelph for lunch. What a hoppin' little town. We ate at Salon de Tea which wasn't bad but we were looking for more of a traditional tea room and this was a bit more on the funkier side. Good food though. On our way out, we passed by this stunning and architectually spectacular marvel. That is Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception. What a beauty on top the hill and probably one of Canada's most magnificent churches.

That's it for now (had to line up for the damn computer) will post more tomorrow.

This stuff cracks me up, what does this tell you about my personality?

Two women, who had been friends for years, decide to go for a Girls
Night Out, and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to use the bathroom.
They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their
business behind a head stone or something.

The first woman had nothing to dry herself with she thought she'd take
off her panties, use them, and then threw them away.

Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and
didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a
wreath that was on one of the graves. So she dried herself with the
ribbon.

The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and
said, "This girl's night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife
came home last night without her panties."

That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came home with a card
stuck to her fanny that said,

"FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION, WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU."

Channeling My Anger

Into face cloths for the Katrina victims. I thought this sounded like a charity that was useful as well as fulfilling for knitters. Thanks to Sue for sending me in the right direction. If you are so inclined, you will find them at Cloths For Katrina (a yahoo group).

Well I'll Be Damned! You Do Learn Something New Everyday

Why isn't U2 showing up in my favorite music?

In Blogger profiles, you can list various favorite books, movies, music, etc. However, each item you list is required to have a minimum length of 3 characters and shorter items will not be displayed. For the most part, this isn't a problem, but unfortunately U2 fans find it frustrating.

The workaround for this is easy. Instead of listing "U2" in your music, list it as "U2." (Note the period at the end.) Now it's 3 characters long and will show up in your profile. Even better, a lot of other members have already worked out the same trick, so your profile will now connect you to all the other U2 fans out there on Blogger.

Note: This workaround applies to any profile item that is under 3 characters, of course, and not only U2.

~From "Blogger Help"

I know you are waiting with bated breath...

To see how far I have gotten on hubby's sweater (that I started, yes wayyyyy back in April? May?). Well there ya go. Now I am knitting this in the round as you can see. It is loosely based on the pattern in the SNB book but the one in there is NOT knitted in the round. And I am soon coming to the part where you need to make holes for the sleeves. Now silly me has never knit a sweater in the round and I am kinda wondering what the heck ya do to do this when working with circs. Otherwise, hubby is wearing a tube top this winter instead of a sweater. Guess I better check my technique websites and get my ducks in a line.

Kids are back in school. God bless them. This will be a very busy year for us. DN2 will be having her confirmation AND DN3 will be having her 1st communion. Then graduation for DN2 from grade eight. Then there is DN1 trying to get her drivers permit. I really should have had them all ten years apart.

***Added Later

A list of these hilarious jokes were in my email box this morning. Here is one I just had to post:

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet

coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Thanks Clara (sadly, Clara is blogless so I cannot link to her. But as you can see, she's a funny gal).

Now Back to your Regular Scheduled Programming

This is a knitting blog, yes? Some new readers may be wondering that as I persist on jumping up on my soapbox and writing about everything other than knitting. Well, for now, let us talk about yarn. Our over abundance of it, (me) our shopping of it (me) and our constant need to see, feel and smell more (again, me). Today I purchased some yummy Sirdar Denim from a little known place here in the city called June's Garage. Never heard of it? Well that's because it is not a store per se. It is actually a garage. And it is June's garage so need I say more? It is located in Richmond Hill and it is a cornucopia of amazing yarn and deals. I don't believe she has a website but if you email me I will give you directions on how to get there. It is rather complicated so come on, email me and get a great deal on yarn. Now about the " need more" thing. Next Saturday I am going here. Just cause it is a lovely excuse to leave the city, have lunch in the country and smell yarn. Again, I am going with a Suburban full of blue haired ladies that always promises to be a treat.

Oh, and I think I have been watching too much CNN. The yarn lady thought I was from Texas, she said I had a southern accent. Perhaps I need to take it easy with the Hurricane coverage.

Will They Rebuild?

I sincerely hope not. Since I am now an expert on engineering, geography and geology, thanks to CNN, I can categorically state this is not a good idea. Partially because of the abject poverty and deplorable living conditions many of these people lived in before the hurricane but mostly because of this study.

Thanks, Marmalade, for the link.

And if you are looking for a bird's eye view of what is going on in Louisiana, check out this link. All the bloggers are Louisiana residents and seem to have better knowledge of what is going on than the US government.

Thinking of you all in the South

We are all thinking about you. I don't know if any of my readers are from any of the states affected by this colossal tragedy but please know that you are in my thoughts and as empty as this can sound it is true. I wish I knew of something to do in your time of need. I realize that there will be Red Cross appeals as well as others but here I sit in the comfort of my airconditioned home, in dry clothes, with my healthy family all around me and I feel that my donation is not going to get there fast enough for you NOW. The wheels of bureaucracy seem to turn so slowly at times like this.

What to Knit this Fall

Good Morning Glory!

Can you tell I'm going with a happier theme today? Everything I write must be positive. I feel like crap bringing you all down like that yesterday. Most times I am an upbeat type of gal but sometimes you gotta just let it all hang out. Onward and upward.

This is one of my beautiful morning glories (glorys?). Stunning little beauties aren't they? And to complete this little cheery little pictorial I am overjoyed to have received my Ram Wools catalogue.

Too many gorgeous patterns to mention them all. Will post some pics as soon as I drop Dn1 off at work. BRB.

Been kinda rough around here

Last week was the week from hell. Tried to organize myself, get the sweet 16 party arrangements together and look after a sick dog. Then things went downhill from there. Test results came back from the vet and it was not good news. Needless to say, I had to put the dog to sleep on Thursday morning. I had to put our 18 year old cat down a month ago and now this. DN2 has taken it pretty hard. The dog used to go upstairs and wait by the front door at 3:00 everyday, knowing she would be bursting in the door around 3:20. So I am dealing with this.

And I have a sinus infection.

Now aren't you glad I posted today? Just a little ray of sunshine eh? I'll try and be more upbeat next post.

Ten reasons why I can't wait for them to get their butts back in school

1. I can go back to eating chocolate cake for breakfast.
2. I can race around all morning do my chores and relax for the afternoon without hearing "Is this what you do all day?".
3. I can return home with bags/packages without someone rifling through them while commenting "Who is this for ?" and "Why don't you ever buy me____?"
4. When I feel the need to talk on the phone/use the computer, I won't have to wait in line.
5. The house will stay clean for more than 20 minutes.
6. Silence in the bath. Need I say more?
7. I will not have to constantly guess "Who is that person in the sleeping bag?".
8. I can surf on the computer/chat on the phone without teenage sighs (you know the one they do with their arms crossed?).
9. 10:00 pm bedtime for all of them.
10. Have sex at 11:00 pm again.

*** Any Canadians care to guess what famous apple that is?

Back to Life, Back to Reality

This is how I am feeling. Too much pop, too much junk food and not enough exercise during vacation. We got back late Saturday night and am still trying to get my poop in a scoop (little joke there, see previous post). Not a whole lot of knitting done but I did get this beautiful pattern while I was away. It is the "Everyday Cardigan" from Peace Fleece. It will be on my list of "to do's" this fall. Other than that, not a whole lot to report. Will give you more when I am more organized. Who am I kidding? I have 6 more loads of laundry to do, bedding to change and a Sweet Sixteen birthday to plan. I have to drop DN1 off at work for 11:00, drop something off to hubby at his work and get back to the house for 2:00 to pick up the dog and take her to the vet. DN3 has soccer tonight and dinner has to be prepared. Was that me complaining about vacation?

What IS that smell?

The first noxious smell this week originated from this. Thank God there were no fatalities. It truly was a miracle. However, living less than 10 minutes away from the crash, we got the smell. Kind of a combination of burning plastic and rubber. That went on for most of the evening. This picture is taken from one of our traffic cameras on Canada's busiest highway, the 401. And Knittingnurse? This is less than 5 minutes west of my father's store you will be visiting. My dad actually heard the explosions.

The other smell originates from a much more basic source, these. Why the hell can't people scoop? My mum tells me that on Sunday, a neighbour up the street with a large shepherd cross, let his dog do his thing and was walking away when my mum yelled out the window, "Hey, if you are going to leave that..."and doesn't he pipe up "Ya, ya I'm goin' pick it up", apparently his tone was less than congenial. My mother was going to finish with "I'll give you a bag" but he was a little too pissed to let her finish. Now, why should he be pissed? And doesn't he send the wife down, in her car no less, to pick it up? There is a tonne of dog feces around here and all the piles are HUGE. Why can't people pick up. I am a dog owner/lover and just can't understand it. Then they have enough nerve to be angry at YOU. Some of these owners only walk at night, under cover of darkness and guess what? No plastic bags to be found. The smell is less than flowery around here. Maybe they should take lessons from here.

And tomorrow, I am on vacation. Will be stopping here, but have not told passengers this as yet. Wish me luck!

Five more days...

Then this will be my view every night for a week (maybe more depending on my 3 lovely and easy to live with in a small place children). We will be taking our annual vacation which means knitting, reading, lying in, swimming, eating and shopping. No soccer, hockey, chauffeuring, chaperoning, tutoring or organizing. We are just going to ...be. And if any of you out there are starting your vacation, may it be as relaxing as I am planning mine to be. So any suggestions for fast and light knitting for vacation? Kinda like a beach novel but for vacation knitting.

I just finished it. Wow. I cried and cried. Anyone else finish it? And your opinion? And what was with the black hand? So many questions still unanswered. When is the next book out anyway?

This is how beautiful and calm our weather is now...

Highs between 24 ~ 28, evening lows around 15. This is summer. This is bliss.

Tagged, Haven't Seen This One Before!

id·i·o·syn·cra·sy

Pronunciation Keyn. pl. id· i·o·syn·cra·sies -A

structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an

individual or group.



Write down five of your own personal idiosyncracies.

Then, if you wish, tag five people from your live

gerbil or friendslist to do the same.



Do you people really want to know my crazy and sometimes inexplicable idiosyncrasies? Well don't say I didn't warn you.



1. Since I was a child, I always thought I had "boy's feet". That is, I always thought my feet looked liked boys feet and because of that, I have always kept my toenails painted and well manicured.



2. If you haven't already read my "50 Interesting Things" you will not know that I have to keep my kettle and the back right of my stove, when not in use.



3. I prefer men in white underwear, not coloured.



4. I sometimes brush my teeth and/or floss up to five times a day.



5. I totally get off on reading these types of lists and have surfed the web looking for them.



Now, who shall I pass the baton to? I'm thinking Michele, Elizabeth, Jussi, and how about J. ?



And for those vaguely interested, the French Nipple Bag aka French Market Bag was completed WITHOUT nippleage. Those that predicted it would disappear were, indeed, correct. The yarn used was Lamb's Pride and the felting was very quick.

Oh, and btchwstix now knows the kitchener stitch (but man does it suck).

Why this odd collection of bowls and a soccer ball? 

To do this, silly 

And Voila!!! 

This picture is "G" rated. Suitable for all audiences. 

This picture is rated "R". 

French Nipple Bag aka French Market Bag aka Gigantic Lifesaver Package

Does this not make you think of this in the Woody Allen movie? There are more pictures to come as these are all pre-felted. Notice the nippleage. I am told this will come out in the wash. We shall see.

Ever see the Woody Allen movie "EVERTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK"?  

Continued nippleage 

There are no words... 

A Word About the Neverending, Ass Sticking to your Underwear Heat

It never rains in California
But girl, don't they warn ya
It pours man it pours.
Out of work, I'm out of my head
Out of self respect I'm out of bread
I'm under loved I'm under fed
I wanna go home
It never rains in California

Okay, I was very little when this song came out but I remember it playing on the radio that sat in our kitchen when I was this high. I have to talk about the heat. I've been trying to ignore it, avoid it and possibly even thwart it but it ain't happin'. First, let us delve into the genealogical history of Btchwstix, to completely understand the complexity and gravity of this situation. My mother's mother is from this country. My mother's father is from this country. Both of my father's parents are from this country. Specifically, here. As much as I have always wished to be dark, tanned and exotic looking, I am not. Not even close. As a matter of fact, when I was born, all the neighbours thought my mother adopted me, I was so fair. Now don't get me wrong, I don't look like this, but I am still not exotic looking. My point is, I am not a tropical flower that thrives in the heat, humidity and sultriness of Southern Ontario. I am more of an English Rose that thrives on temperate conditions with the odd rain shower thrown in for good measure. I was not built for this weather.

As stated in the title of this post, my chaci gaucies are sticking to my rump. My hair will NOT curl, straighten, bounce or style. When I undo my bra at night, it is so sticky, it continues to hold up breasts without outside help. My already rosy cheeks are permanently tattooed with that "she looks like she's about to have a coronary" look and the sweat above my upper lip could water my now permanently brown grass. I haven't turned the oven on in almost three weeks and I'm going to have to learn how to barbecue pasta. The central air conditioning has been running straight for 3 weeks and every night I have to pray to the Energy gods (as opposed to the Water gods, we remember them well, yes?).

I want to move. I know I can't but I want to. Really. Now. Here looks good. I could knit all year round with local wool. And you wouldn't have to read these pathetic posts about Toronto's tropical weather.

A Germaphobic's Delight

I know, there is no word "germaphobic" but I have been called that so many times I've decided to integrate it into my vocabulary, so there. This book is proving to be very informative and possibly even life extending. I am always looking for more ways to stay healthy and this seemed to foot the bill. It is a compilation of information regarding the entire body, from the immune system to gum disease and bad breath. This all interests me greatly as I have a compromised immune system that prevents me from fighting off certain infections including sinus infections, UTI's and other assorted maladies. I especially like the Chapter "Best Optimizing Options ~ Strategies~Treatments Reference". If you are anything like me, and question the validity of your doctor's advice on occasion and are perhaps sick of another round of antibiotics, this may be a good read for you.

Broken Knitting Needles 101

My disappointment cannot be expressed by mere words. Just look at the picture folks. Brings a tear to the eye does it not? My beautiful handmade rosewood needles from Turn of the Century totally annihilated. How you ask? Weren't they just quietly minding their own business in the little wicker basket on the floor in the family room? Didn't you at one time think "Mmmm, maybe I should move those, DN3 (7 year old) may one day decide to play with them and possibly break your coveted handmade rosewood needles from Turn of the Century?" And didn't you still ignore this little warning bell in your head and continue on with your mundane existence? But the biggest disappointment may well have been the knock on your bedroom door by daughters one AND two, (almost 16 year old and almost 13 year old), begging for forgiveness as it was THEM that broke it, fighting with it no less. The irony here? They were a Mother's gift from last year. Found this when I googled "broken knitting needle". Some consolation I guess. Especially if I find someone the size of a house elf that wants to knit with handmade rosewood needles.

The French Nipple Bag is doing well, okay. It is no longer a large pert nipple. It is now a small, less aroused nipple, but still, I would categorically state, a nipple. I wish to thank all those wonderful suggestions I received and the hint to remove the first couple of rows worked out very well. Not as much nippleage. Can you imagine the complete and utter disappointment of the people that are googling "nipples" etc and are ending up on my knitting website. Kinda funny.

My life is still a sitcom. Stay tuned.

Found this. I want one. Their asses ALL look better than mine.

What possible words are there to describe this?